I absolutely can't believe time has passed by so fast and now i'm standing on a threshold. A milestone. Whatever else you may call it. Its scarry. The last I felt like this was when i was hitting the big 30.
I tell people who ask what does it feel like that i don't feel like i'm 40. i feel like i'm only 28. Its probably my maturity level uh? Sad isn't it.. And then they say... its only a number. But its not even that....
The feeling is ..... have i wasted my life. What have i been doing all this while. Have i missed out on something else. What if, what if... i know this sounds pathetic, but that's exactly how i feel. I'd like to put on a brave front and show the world that i am so happy and not afraid of the future and that it doesn't bother me.... but the actual fact is .... i am ..... sad... down... worried.... anxious.... fearful.....
Although everybody would say... "Awww, its only a number, life is what you make of it, think of all the opportunities, etc etc etc.... but at this point i just can't. Although the world tells you otherwise they actually brand you as a Old hag......
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