Let Your Eyes Look Straight Ahead

Proverbs 4:23, 25-27 (NKJV)
Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life.....
Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.

Keep our hearts with all diligence. Now how do we do that? Why? Because from out of it spring issues of life.

Look straight ahead.... sometimes we do tend to get off focus and stumble when our eyes are off the tracks aren't they. Actually all the time. Like when we start looking at others paths and we start to think ... Oh theirs look so much better, so much easier... i'm sure if i had that path i'll do better... but in actual fact its just not possible. Because when you really think about it, God knew exactly which path would fit us best. Just as the owner of the vineyard knew exactly how much to give his three servants. He knew according to their potential and capabilities and judged each one accordingly. And when we start to compare we would definitely stumble. The only way to stay on course and making sure we are doing right is to Look straight ahead! And let our eyelids not batter but focused on our individual course.

Ponder the path of my feet. - If there is a pebble or stone or boulder i see coming i have to avoid it. It would be absolutely stupid for me to go over it and expect God to move it by faith so that i don't have to fall... Which i must say alot of us do so conciously or unconciously... most times conciously. Like choices in life. Choices of employment, marriage partners, friends, homes to buy, education

Let your ways be established. - There is a place for risk. But if we know the risk we take is going to get us into trouble and we can't exactly see any results coming ... the answer is quite simple.

Do not turn to the right or to the left. - If one knows what one has to do and not doing it.... that is utter stupidity. Diverting or diviating is utter nonsense. And if you fall down and hurt yourself in the process, its your fault!

Remove your foot from evil. - Now why didn't this translation say "feet" instead. It says foot. Singular foot. Come to think of it... when one foot goes forward the other is definite to follow. so all this has to be established in the mind then the eye then the foot....

Yikes! I'm turning 40 in two days!!!

I absolutely can't believe time has passed by so fast and now i'm standing on a threshold. A milestone. Whatever else you may call it. Its scarry. The last I felt like this was when i was hitting the big 30.

I tell people who ask what does it feel like that i don't feel like i'm 40. i feel like i'm only 28. Its probably my maturity level uh? Sad isn't it.. And then they say... its only a number. But its not even that....

The feeling is ..... have i wasted my life. What have i been doing all this while. Have i missed out on something else. What if, what if... i know this sounds pathetic, but that's exactly how i feel. I'd like to put on a brave front and show the world that i am so happy and not afraid of the future and that it doesn't bother me.... but the actual fact is .... i am ..... sad... down... worried.... anxious.... fearful.....

Although everybody would say... "Awww, its only a number, life is what you make of it, think of all the opportunities, etc etc etc.... but at this point i just can't. Although the world tells you otherwise they actually brand you as a Old hag......

Knowing our Roles

There has been some tension in our home. My mother is interfering in the selling of Wilson's and Jasmin's house. i've told her over and over again to let it go and let them handle it. They are old enough to know and do things but i just don't understand why my mother has to butt in. She feels she knows better and does what is best. She still feels that they are teenagers who don't know what they are doing. Giddy headed fools. My mother has crossed her boundaries and lives a life of control. She wants it.

i really don't know what to say and how to say it to her because any way i do it she will get hurt and sensitive about the issue.

I realise how important it is to run the race marked out for "US" and not for someone else even if we think we know what they ought to do about their lives. How do i make my mother understand this. And its not only her, but her sisters as well.

A short get-away does alot of good.

I've just returned from a three day get-away to Singapore. Nothing fancy. Drove down with a few friends and stayed at my sister's place. We didn't go anywhere fancy or expensive. We spent alot of time just resting, sleeping, watching TV, eating, walked out to the nearby mall and went for a night safari. Did a little shopping for small souvenirs and came home. It was so refreshing. The change in atmosphere, surrounding, people, place.

I realise that it takes so little to refresh oneself. Just get away for the weekend. A change of atmosphere and place just helps one refresh and get back into perspective and recharged to enter the monotonous life again.

ROCKING THE BOAT

by Max Lucado. From book "In the Grip of Grace"

God has enlisted us in his navy and placed us on his ship. The boat has one purpose - to carry us safely to the other shore.

This is no cruise ship; its a battleship. We aren't called to a life of leisure; we are called to a life of service. Each of us has a different task. Some, concerned with those who are drowning, are snatching people from the water. Others are occupied with the enemy, so they man the cannons of prayer and worship. Still others devote themselves to the crew, feeding and training the crew members.

Though different, we are the same. Each can tell of a personal encounter with the captain, for each has received a personal call. He found us among the shanties of the seaport and invited us to follow Him. Our faith was born at the sight of His fondness, and so we went.

We each followed Him across the gangplank of His grace unto the same boat. There is one captain and one destination. Though the battle is fierce, the boat is safe, for our captain is God. The ship will not sink. For that, there is no concern.

There is concern, however, regarding the disharmony of the crew. when we first boarded we assumed the crew was made up of others like us. But as we've wandered these decks, we've encountered curious converts with curious appearances. Some wear uniforms we've never seen, sporting styles we've never witnessed. "Why do you look the way you do?" we ask them.

"Funny," they reply. "we were about to ask the same of you." The variety of dress is not nearly as disturbing as the plethora of opinions. There is a group, for example, who clusters every morning for serious study. They promote rigid discipline and somber expressions. "Serving the captain is serious business," they explain. It's no coincidence that they tend to congregate around the stern. There is another regiment deeply devoted to prayer. Not only do they believe in prayer; they believe in prayer by kneeling. For that reason you always know where to locate them; they are at the bow of the ship.

And then there are a few who staunchly believe real wine should be used in the Lord's supper. You'll find them on the port side. Still another group has positioned themselves near the engine. They spend hours examining the nuts and bolts of the boat. They've been known to go below deck and not come up for days. They are occasionally criticised by those who linger on the top deck, feeling the wind in their hair and the sun on their face. "It's not what you learn, those topside argue. "It's what you feel that matters."

and, oh, how we tend to cluster.

Some think once you're on the boat, you can't get off. Others say you'd be foolish to go overboard, but the choice is yours.

Some believe you volunteer for service; others believe you were destined for the service before the ship was even built.

some predict a storm of great tribulation will strike before we dock; others say it won't hit until we are safely ashore.

There are those who speak to the captain in a personal language. There are those who think such languages are extinct.

There are those who think the officers should wear robes, there are those who think there should be no officers at all, and there are those who think we are all officers and should all wear robes.

And, oh, how we tend to cluster.

And then there is the issue of the weekly meeting at which the captain is thanked and His words are read. All agree on its importance, but few agree on its nature. some want it loud, others quiet. Some want ritual, others spontaneity. Some want to celebrate so they can meditate; others meditate so they can celebrate. Some want a meeting for those who've gone overboard. Others want to reach those overboard but

Anwar got arrested again today. He was arrested exactly 10 years ago for some charges similar to this one. And all this now.... during our election year and the opposition party being the winning party where Anwar is one of its leaders.

The mudslinging, the cover up, the hideous crimes, the evil that is happening. I'm just worried for all those doing the evil and the extent of the evil. I'm worried about what is awaiting them at the hands of the one above them.

These evil doers don't realise it or what? they act like God does not exist and is not watching. Or if he does exists, he is either blind or deaf or senile. thats how 'these' people act. I'm just waiting and praying for Him who is above all authorities to act. And i know and am confident He will!!

Potter's Field

Matthew 27

Thirty Silver Coins

1-2 In the first light of dawn, all the high priests and religious leaders met and put the finishing touches on their plot to kill Jesus. Then they tied him up and paraded him to Pilate, the governor.

3-4Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, "I've sinned. I've betrayed an innocent man."

They said, "What do we care? That's your problem!"

5Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself.

6-10The high priests picked up the silver pieces, but then didn't know what to do with them. "It wouldn't be right to give this—a payment for murder!—as an offering in the Temple." They decided to get rid of it by buying the "Potter's Field" and use it as a burial place for the homeless. That's how the field got called "Murder Meadow," a name that has stuck to this day. Then Jeremiah's words became history:

They took the thirty silver pieces,
The price of the one priced by some sons of Israel,
And they purchased the potter's field.
And so they unwittingly followed the divine instructions to the letter.

Finishing touches on the plot...

Its all a drama. The stage, the characters, the plot, the action..... Life is such. And we humans think arrogantly that we plan the motions of our lives when it is God who has the details all worked out. i would like to see the faces the chief priests and high priests on the day they face our Maker. The shock!

Judas is overcome with remorse....

Judas was sorry for his sin. He was remorseful. There is actually no difference between Judas and Peter. No one did the greater evil. Both betrayed the Lord. and yet only one turned and confessed to Him. If only Judas had said he was sorry, he would be with Jesus today. Instead he took his remorse and punished himself not allowing the one who gave Himself for our punishment to take his place. How sad. And how many people today do just that thinking it would get them on the good books with God. and how sad that they don't know that their crime has been paid for. that they have been bailed out. Same crime. Betrayal. two different reactions. Is there any sin that He can't forgive. skeptics would argue and say, ' o but judas didn't have a choice. he was destined to be the betrayer. it was prophesied of him. he was just fulfilling his destiny. God is unjust to do what He did...'

But think about it ..... Judas had a choice. And God knew ever detail even before it happens. He knows every detail of our lives. He just published what He already saw happening. Judas had a choice to repent. Be remorseful, but say i'm sorry. Repent. He didn't!

The high priest actually were trying to do what was right... HAH!

Can you imagine the irony. the paradox of the situation. Here were a bunch of guys who are spiritual leaders trying to keep the law. On one hand they plotted murder. And not just anyone but God Himself. They murdered the one who gave them the law. Its like watching some pottery stage a riot and beat up the potter and burn his workshop. Then, when Judas throws the money back. ... O they can't ignore it.... after all its money and it can be used to help the poor right! HAH! But, but... o ... its 'payment for murder'. they even acknowledged it was murder. Hmmm..... interesting how people justify their actions.

Imagine a meeting of church elders and there they present the accounts for the month. and one column says... Payment for murder - 30 pcs silver . And the other, not knowing how to term it they probably called it a donation - 30 pcs silver. And to make sure the money doesn't stay in the treasury. they purchase a field .... and not just any field. a field to bury the poor and homeless. I can imagine a meeting with them discussing this. ' Hmm..... i don't think the entries sound right. What if the generations to come read this. or what if the next committee who take over start questioning us.... We better take it out. Just fill in the entry as miselaneous - 30 pcs of silver.'and just buy the field and put it as a donation given out. and the money judas returned as a donation too.'

The Potter's Field

Do you have a potter's field of your own?

Jeremiah's words became history

i love this phrase. Where else can you find a book where the prophecy and its fulfillment are written in one book!

Everything in the Word will become history one day. And thats Jesus coming again in glory to set up His millennial Kingdom too. and even the fact that one day He will blow the trumpet and call us, His beloved Home at the rapture. This may sound wierd, but, i actually imagine it happening in my lifetime. My eyes open immediately sometimes in the night when i'm fast asleep at the sounds of some stirring. i think its the angels coming to take us home.

Potter's Field

Matthew 27:1-10 1-2 In the first light of dawn, all the high priests and religious leaders met and put the finishing touches on their plot to kill Jesus. Then they tied him up and paraded him to Pilate, the governor.

3-4Judas, the one who betrayed him, realized that Jesus was doomed. Overcome with remorse, he gave back the thirty silver coins to the high priests, saying, "I've sinned. I've betrayed an innocent man."

They said, "What do we care? That's your problem!"

5Judas threw the silver coins into the Temple and left. Then he went out and hung himself.

6-10The high priests picked up the silver pieces, but then didn't know what to do with them. "It wouldn't be right to give this—a payment for murder!—as an offering in the Temple." They decided to get rid of it by buying the "Potter's Field" and use it as a burial place for the homeless. That's how the field got called "Murder Meadow," a name that has stuck to this day. Then Jeremiah's words became history:

They took the thirty silver pieces,
The price of the one priced by some sons of Israel,
And they purchased the potter's field.
And so they unwittingly followed the divine instructions to the letter.

Finishing touches on the plot...

makes it sound like a drama in motion. and indeed it all is isn't it.

Judas is overcome with remorse (He was sorry for what he had done)

Judas was sorry, he actually repented. But, he didn't make the next move. Turn to the master and seek forgiveness. In many ways Peter was just like Judas too. Both betrayed Jesus. Both were sorry for their sins but only one turned to the master and seeked His forgiveness. Judas was sorry but did not repent. He punished himself by hanging himself. People down the ages feel sorry for Judas saying, 'but he didn't have a choice. somebody had to be the bad guy here. Judas in a way was chosen. was prophecied about.' Yeah, he was prophecied about but only about the betrayal. not after that. Judas could have repented and been forgiven. How many people today do the same. Feel sorry for their sin are remorseful but do not repent.

The high priest actually were trying to do what was right! HAH! By not using the money given back by Judas to them to put into the treasury because get this... 'it was payment for murder'.

Can you imagine the irony in all these. these leaders of the law, who uphold the law of God to the detail, plot a murder, and not just any murder, murder of theand try to do right at the same time it seems. What a paradox.

The Potter's Field

Jeremiah's words became history.

Bob Fitts on Youtube: The Sacrifice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEBmuQxXlHU

Got to watch this. Awesome! Made me cry. and making me cry everytime i see it.

Imagine what it must have been like to be in Abraham's shoes. After years of waiting for an offspring and all the promises given about that offspring. He continues to wait for that promise. years pass and he is wondering if God has forgotten. And everytime he has that little feeling.... God steps in and gives him an object lesson. Then, finally that day comes when sarah announces that she is pregnant. I can imagine Abraham on that day. He probably flipped and everybody around him came to revive him. He comes around wondering if he had a dream. And everybody is looking intently at him smiling. And he realises that it was true: Sarah is pregnant! He calls for a celebration and everybody gets a holiday that day. After nine months, the biggest day of their lives, He carries the promised child in his arms. The joy on his face, the excitement in his voice, the glow on his 100 year old face.... i can only imagine. I still see that look on every father on the day his child is born. I saw that on Wilson's face when Shayna was born and later when Andrea was born. After losing two babies, when Shayna came he cried and had to be consoled by Dr Jeeva. I can imagine Abraham crying as i am right now writing this....

If Abraham had a webcam, he'd capture every single moment of every day and he'd probably have a separate tent just to store all his vcds. But fortunately he didn't or else he would be wasting alot of resource and not living the life of a nomad. But this Abraham must have done: Memorised every line, every phrase, every action of Isaac. Measured every millimeter of his growth. Talked about him to everybody he met everyday.

So can you imagine the day God asked him to sacrifice Isaac? It might have been like having the earth swallow you up and you are in darkness so dark and silence so deep that you can't possibly express it in any way. The pain would have felt like many stabs on his heart. The stress alone would have killed him. The questions in his heart and mind would have been like a plague eating up his very system inside. Why? Why? Why? ..... But Abraham also loved God with the same passion and fire. He was torn between his two loves. But obey he must, because every good and perfect gift is from above. And Obedience was his way of life. To Obey is better than Sacrifice.

He climbs that mountain alone that day with his beloved, treasured gift. He bares his heart and soul to his child that day. Each step would have been so hard and heart wrenching... i can imagine him many times faltering and crying and stopping to steal a moment away from Isaac's view to just sob and sob. the pain, the torment, the ........

He comes to the peak of that sacred place. And prepares the sacrifice. He might as well have said take me please take me. But he did not haggle with God. It must be done. There was no choice. And to the last moment, God is watching, until he intervenes. God was giving Abraham a glimpse of the future and teaching us an object lesson. If it pained Abraham's heart to offer his son, can you imagine how much it broke God's heart to offer and see His Son on that cross for us. There was no choice. There was no other way. Blood had to be shed and no one else could do it except one without flaw or sin. And that one was His only Son! Nobody intervened that day for God. Everyone just watched. There were tears shed that day .... from above.

Now, watch the video on Youtube. The url is at the top.

It was Politics back then too at Jesus' time. Nothing new under heaven

Matthew 26:57-68 (The Message)

The Message (MSG)

False Charges

..........

59-60The high priests, conspiring with the Jewish Council, tried to cook up charges against Jesus in order to sentence him to death. But even though many stepped up, making up one false accusation after another, nothing was believable.(Jesus was innocent and no matter what the religious teachers did to discredit Him, they could find nothing. Imagine.... they spent hours just trying to dig up some dirt on Jesus and they couldn't!! Such credibility! Do you know anyone else who has never done anything that can be used against them)

60-61Finally two men came forward with this: "He said, 'I can tear down this Temple of God and after three days rebuild it.'"(such utter nonsense. They cooked up something that was absolutely stupid. its like accusing somebody of saying... "Oh oh she said that if she .... can't think of anything right now. give me sometime )

62The Chief Priest stood up and said, "What do you have to say to the accusation?" (you'd think the chief priest was smarter. its very obvious he is trying to agree on something... anything.... absolutely anything at all....)

63Jesus kept silent.(such composure, such confidence, such authority... Jesus knew exactly what He was doing. To think He could have zapped them like a mosquito with a swatter any moment, any time.... Or He could humor Himself by suddenly causing worms to crawl out of his ears and mouth and let him decay in an instant before everybody's eyes.... He wasn't powerless you know. Or i would have liked to see this... his tongue grow out longer than it is and tie itself up in a knot and choke him to death before everybody's watching eyse. He simply contained Himself! )

Then the Chief Priest said, "I command you by the authority of the living God to say if you are the Messiah, the Son of God." (HAH! ya right! He commanding... after doing what he did... he is trying to look like he is a saint! Know anyone like that of late?)

64Jesus was curt: "You yourself said it. And that's not all. Soon you'll see it for yourself:

The Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Mighty One,
Arriving on the clouds of heaven."

(Classic i tell you, simply classic.... Jesus answer. What a gentleman, what a character... )

65-66At that, the Chief Priest lost his temper, ripping his robes, yelling, "He blasphemed! Why do we need witnesses to accuse him? You all heard him blaspheme! Are you going to stand for such blasphemy?" (Ah, finally he gets something to nail Jesus. Isn't he so glad....)

They all said, "Death! That seals his death sentence." (thats all they wanted.)

67-68Then they were spitting in his face and banging him around. They jeered as they slapped him: "Prophesy, Messiah: Who hit you that time?"

I'm reading this passage from the Bible and its like reading something from today's newspaper about whats happening to our nation. All the political bickering and this person trying to outdo that person in who's done the worse crimes. Its like watching the game of chess as a spectator. and seeing both sides of the board trying to get the check mate position and when they fail to they just kick dirt in the other's eyes ... (foul play) to blind them a little and throw them off balance. Its just going back and forth this dirty game of politics.

And everything is so clear about who's done what and yet.... the cover up .... Oh! i'm sometimes afraid for these guys... afraid of what's waiting for them when they come face to face with their Creator. Have they no fear .... no fear at all... i'm wondering. don't they realise life is so short and temporary. Years pass by in a blink and before you know it... you're saying goodbye at a funeral. What's all this bickering and biting all about. And the ones who suffer.... are the underdogs.

God is so patient, is longsuffering... i don't know what He is waiting for but obviously for some change of heart i guess.

But, in all these..... i see His plan in motion. His agenda taking place. His hands in all things....

Church Without Walls

For a year now i've not been attending the church i spent most of my life in. I got introduced to Jesus there. I got real hungry for the Word there. I served there. I was sent out as a missionary from there. I witnessed my peers get married and have families of their own there. I thought sunday school over 20 years there. i served in the youth fellowship as leader and stayed on and became their counsellor there..... Lots of memories

Then all of a sudden, a change takes place. Drastic, unimagined, sad even .... we, a group of us get the boot! But i see it now as God's doing. We had to get out. We were getting too comfortable and protected. It was time we moved. On our own, we wouldnt budge an inch. So, this was the only way. We never imagined something like this would have ever happened to our lives.

So, here we are..... now in a church without walls. We are not confined to one denomination nor one building, nor one group. We go around and visit. Of course, this arrangement is not permanent. We hope to find a fellowship we can be a part of but for now this is the arrangement for us.

and it has been good. We had a six month break and slowly opportunities to serve in capacities we wouldn't step out in earlier are coming in. So, we make ourselves available, as tools, to be picked up and used by our Maker!

Going to Singapore this weekend!

I'm so excited. tonight i would be boarding the train bound for Singapore. I'm so looking forward to the visit. i can't wait to see Andrea and Shayna. And of course to bring my mother back. The house has been so quiet and lonely without them.

Snif .... Snif .... Bye.. Shane and Andri

Today i said goodbye to my dearies.... Shayna and Andrea. I never thought this day would come. I always thought they would be around, grow up three doors away from us, go to school in the neighbourhood, become school going children, and teenagers.....

I'm going to miss them so much. miss watching them sleep at night, miss washing and bathing them, miss doing stuff for them and playing with them.... I stayed up late last night... to just watch them sleeping. They looked like little angels. i know my father (their grandfather) is going to miss them too. mum went along with them today to stay for a week to help them settle in. Then i will go over with their stuff with cecilia, reuben and joanna next week.

The house is going to be so quiet, without the noises of children playing and running around. And of course the TV channels hogged at 613 Disney Playhouse channel! I'm going to miss all that sooooo much! What will i do without them!? Snif, snif,.......

You Meant Evil AGainst me; But God meant it for good...

Read Genesis 50:15-21

But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said.
16 So they sent this message to Joseph: “Before your father died, he instructed us 17 to say to you: ‘Please forgive your brothers for the great wrong they did to you—for their sin in treating you so cruelly.’ So we, the servants of the God of your father, beg you to forgive our sin.” When Joseph received the message, he broke down and wept. 18 Then his brothers came and threw themselves down before Joseph. “Look, we are your slaves!” they said.
19 But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. 21 No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

This is one of the most amazing passages i've read and am reading it again thru our devotions at the shop today.
Besides what the commentaries have said about not taking revenge and looking at our circumstance in God's light, this thought came to mind....
Joseph could have turned out to be a real bitter, angry, hateful, revengeful person. After all life's circumstances created it for him. He was cheated, lied to, abandoned, abused, forgotten and God knows what else was done to him. He wasn't shielded from the evil of the world. He faced them all .... and if he was bitter and angry and revengeful... counselors today would feel sorry for him and do everything they can to help him. Or he would be a bag case and insecure and ...... He probably had more bad memories than good ones.

He had the right to be all of the above. And yet he wasn't..... How did he stay sane in circumstances like that? How was he able to forgive his brothers who did the worse evil to him? How could he continue to love his enemies....

I can't imagine how humanly possible that is. But i know one thing Joseph had.... He had his focus on the Lord. No matter what happened, he just stayed focused above. God rewarded him of course... the story has a happy ending here on earth. But many stories we know today may not have such happy successful endings.... But then again.... where is our focus? The end is not here where we are on transit.... the end and happily ever after does exist.... not here and now... but eternity! Rick Warren said in Purpose Driven Life... Life is just a dress reheasal for the real thing. The drama is about to happen! We are not there yet! Stay focused!

THANK YOU GUYS!!!

I don't know if any of you guys will read this but i needed to say this..... You guys are the best friends a girl will ever have. I wouldn't have made it and come out sane if it had not been for your support, prayers and help during one period of my life i'll never forget.

THANKS SO MUCH!!!

LOVE YOU GUYS

.... TINA, CECILIA, JOANNA, REUBEN!!

YOU'RE THE BEST!!

Phew! What a week!

The last week has been quite a week. I'll never forget it as long as i live for sure.

We(cecilia, mother, joanna, reuben and myself) were all supposed to be following Jasmine and the girls to Singapore in Reuben's Avanza. Joanna and i were supposed to take the train down later that night. then we would leave ama behind for two weeks with jasmine to help her settle in with the girls. Wilson is already there. All were set. Then...

Ama got this fever that refused to leave. Everyday that passed got her feeling worse. We were taking her to the clinic to get her treated. On the 6th day, the doctor told us to get her admitted. Something is wrong. I got her to University Hospital and after getting checked by the doctor, she got her admitted and diagnosed with dengue. I came home that night and Jasmine and Shayna were having the fever too. The next day, i took them to Pantai for a check up and thats where Shayna vomitted all over me and the hospital. Jasmine and Shayna got admitted for dengue too. Thank God they got the same room. So here was a situation... mum in University Hospital in PJ, Jasmine and Shayna at Pantai and i was left to take care of 1+ year old Andrea.

Thank God for friends... i just want to thank God for Cecilia, Reuben, Tina, Shanti and Joanna during this period. They were the best friends i had. Helped me with visiting mum, keeping shayna and jasmine ok... and cecilia stayed the night with me to watch Andrea. And Andrea was the best kid ever. Was so cooperative and the most adorable kid i ever watched.

Ama got out first, followed by Shayna and then Jasmine. But a few days later Jasmine got so bad, her internal organs were swelling up we had to take her back. Thats when she got admitted again and was put in the ICU! She got so bad, her blood count was dropping and liver was so enlarged she was in alot of pain... and we got so worried. And thats when God showed up thru people from the Wesley Church and other friends who started to pray!! She got out on Saturday and is on the road to recovery.

Dengue can be fatal if not arrested early. And its caused by a mosquitoe. And there is no cure for it either, just lots of fluids and rest and monitoring by the doctors. Many people have died because of dengue.

Getting Alone When Everything in Life Presses In...

It When Jesus got the news (about John the baptist's murder), he slipped away by boat to an out-of-the-way place by himself. But unsuccessfully - someone saw him and the word got around. Soon a lot of people from the nearby villages walked around the lake to where he was. When he saw them coming, he was overcome with pity and .......

Matthew 14:13-14

As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night.

Matthew 14:22-2

There is no doubt Jesus had the hectiest schedule ever in His time. People were just everywhere looking for Him, needing Him, seeking Him, curious about Him.... and He never once let them down. He tried spending quality time alone but often found it was not quite possible to be alone and yet.... He did His best to find that time. He'd send his disciples away ahead of Him so he could go away alone... to do one thing; be by himself and pray.

I want so much to be like that. to do that. I lack the desire to pray and get away by myself to spend with Him. I try many times and often find myself distracted. For Jesus, those were the times He renewed Himself, gathered Himself for the next action... He did it regularly.

Father in heaven, i confess that i lack this passion and drive. Help me. I want to do as you did in matters like this. i want to be just like you.

Perfect Peace

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." Isaiah 26:3

I remember reading this verse in 1998 when our economy almost crashed. Our money value had gone so bad and we had bills to pay our publishers in UK and US. My then boss. that time has come and gone and we survived in Evangel.

We are at another milestone now.... our elections just passed and everything is kind of in a limbo at the moment. The ruling government never expected to face this tip over to the opposition. i just hope that all the promises they(the opposition) made before the election will be carried out... especially among the down trodden..... Although i don't hope for much as, afterall...... they are still man and man makes promises he doesn't keep and whatmore politicians.... And as far as this world goes.... we would be getting from bad to worse.... paving the way for the Antichrist to rule for a season with a false utopia first then showing his true character.

"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus love and righteousness..." a line from a hymn comes to mind.

I know one thing that is for sure! Stock markets may rise and crumble, nations may rise and dissapear, kingdoms may come and go.... anything can change in a moment. But one thing that is for sure.... i know because the Bible tells me so.... Jesus is coming again!!

i've been blaming, blaming, blaming my surrounding, my father, my mother, for the way i turned out. I struggle with a low self-esteem and insecurity. I don't know how to relate to men ( i blame my dad for this). He (my dad) was never involved with my growing up... for me, he is this man who lives in the same house as us. my mother's husband. I never knew what i missed until i saw some families in India and here. i so envied them.

But, i realise something yesterday.... if life is on transit and things happened the way they do... i can't change that... but i sure can change my attitude towards it. And how i make my life now... is what matters... i can't wait for people to change... I CAN change. i got to remind myself of this over and over again.

Oh! i never gave the reason why i call this blog 'The Transit Life'. Its because i see life like that.... like sitting and waiting in Transit at the airport while waiting for the next flight Home! In the meantime i'm not going to make myself comfortable at the airport and fight for sitting space, etc ..... i'm just killing time... and while i do that... i'll make the most of every opportunity i've got. I'm on Transit .... Home! Where my heart and treasure is! Its where my Father in Heaven's prepared a place for me.

Politics

The voting fever is all around. Many people are unhappy with all thats happening in the political arena. Polling is this Saturday and i really hope there won't be any kind of trouble. Everyone's a little afraid the May 13th incident will repeat.

I'm all set to vote. This is my first time. Hmmm.... at 40. Well, they say life begins at 40 so i'm inspired to start everything at 40. Another thing i hope to be accomplishing is TESOL diploma at 40. Sometimes i wonder... why didn't i do all these earlier. Somehow, i wasn't compelled to.

The political arena can be very scarry, intimidating, daunting, and much more... but everytime i think of all the corruption that goes on... i can only think and hope for one thing.... when "The King of Kings" will come and rule with Justice!! No more corruption and fear.... Ooooo.... i can't wait.

Was reading something by Philip Yancey( i love his writing) in the Daily Bread today.

Quote ..."In Dostoevsky's novel The Brothers Karamazov, refers to "the miracle of restraint" - God's choice to curb His own power. The more i get to know Jesus, the more that observation impresses me.".......

"More amazing is His refusal to perform (when Satan tempted Him), to overwhelm. God's terrible insistence on human freedom is so absolute that he granted us the power to live as though He does not exist. Jesus must have known this as He faced the tempter in the desert, focusing His power on the energy of restraint."

God's choice to curb His own power. wow! It still amazes me that God choose to do that.

Finally! My own blog space. Definitely saves on paper. i've started writing diaries at 13 and have accumulated quite a bit over the years and i feel so bad using all that paper. I definitely want to do something about it to save the environment. So blogging definitely helps.